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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Perfectly Equipped,'" reads as follows:

T.S. Eliot wrote, “When a poet's mind is perfectly equipped for its work, it is constantly amalgamating disparate experiences."  That is precisely the point of this essay.  I could end the essay here, but it would be far too short to qualify for one of my essays.  
    

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

But it is not really an accident (chance) at all; it happens because I am prepared, and preparation in any field, discipline, domain, occupation, area, branch, or sphere is the key.  You don’t prepare because you know what the future holds, you prepare to lay the foundation for a productive and active life!

  


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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Forgiveness Forces You to Grow Beyond What You Were,'" reads as follows:

A young lady in my interpersonal communication class asked for my advice about trying to find out who her real father was.  She felt betrayed by him from childhood when she learned she was adopted, and she wanted to find out who could deceive, desert, and disappoint at such an intense and personal level.  I remember my advice to her as if it were yesterday.  

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Bernard Meltzer said, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future.”  While unforgiveness makes you smaller, forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.      



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Reflected Appraisals,'" reads as follows:

“I think that I have never seen a man as well-defined as he,” is an adaptation of a line written by the poet (Alfred) Joyce Kilmer, from his poem, “Trees” (1913), “I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree.”  With my adaptation of Kilmer’s line, I am referring to my 98-year-old father-in-law, Edgar E. Willis; however, I admit, that at 98 most people are well defined.
   

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

In all these cases, the reflected appraisals have taught me what I do not want to be and what I do not want to do.  Not to be totally negative, Edgar reads, watches sports, is aware, alert, and mentally active, and he has an incredible memory.  Even though most of what I have observed, as noted in this essay, are negative traits I want to avoid, they make me a stronger person by underscoring and firming-up the positive traits I have in place.  Reflected appraisals have the potential for making you a stronger person with more clearly defined characteristics.


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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "I'm Unique,'" reads as follows:

One time it was a short article I read, another time it was a place I visited, and yet another time it was music I was listening to.  The inspiration for my essays comes from so many different directions, and, in many cases, I’m not always certain exactly what or from where it originated.  That’s the nature of my mind.  It’s as if I am saying, “So many ideas, so little time!”

    

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last two paragraphs of the essay


Finally, she says, “go ahead and enjoy the thinking process.”
   
I love her last idea, of course.  As I said earlier in this essay, I am a thinker (and fortunately, too, a doer!).  And if this essay helps you de-construct your whole process of inspiration, perhaps, it has made a contribution.  Maybe you just need to stop and meta-observe (examine your inside activities by taking a position outside yourself!).  This, too, can be a delightful exercise — maybe even one that will prove how unique you are!


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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, ". . . To the Beat of a Different Drummer,'" reads as follows:

At the website Yahoo!Answers, an unknown respondent wrote the following in response to this prompt: “Henry David Thoreau said.....march to the beat of a different drummer....?”  “In the conclusion to 'Walden,' Thoreau writes, "If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away." He meant,” said this respondent, “that one should do things in one's own way regardless of societal norms and expectations.”
    

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Some of the items discussed in this essay may require giant leaps, and to accomplish and develop these skills requires baby steps.  Begin in small ways, and you are likely to make large gains.  Be patient with yourself, however, as you grow and change in positive ways.   Thoreau had it right.  To march to the beat of a different drummer, Thoreau said, “Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away."

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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Not Your Daddy's Retirement,'" reads as follows:

What prompted this essay was a “Saturday Essay” written by Dr. David Andersen for The (Toledo) Blade (March 19, 2005), entitled, “Retirement’s gift is the chance to blaze new trail.”  When I first read this essay, I was just interested in another person’s point of view.  I was closing in on my first ten years of retirement, and I found his perspective interesting but much different from my own.  Although Andersen closed the door on one “life,” he left the door wide open for a new one—“Looking out over what once seemed an abyss, I now begin to see instead, uncharted terrain.  The journey isn’t over.  My destination is still out there. . . .”  

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

“In conclusion,” Barnett writes in a summary to her essay that could just as well have been written for this essay, “you can take control over your time and get more done than you ever wanted. Although this requires careful planning and learning, you can accomplish all of your goals by not being a perfectionist, delegating to others, setting long and short term goals, planning and combining activities, prioritizing, getting organized, developing a realistic plan, keeping track of your time, and creating a personal mission statement.”

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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Travel (Introduction to the book Exotic Destinations and More,'" reads as follows:

When I lived in East Pakistan (now Bangladesh), I mentioned to friends my plan to travel south to Chittagong, Bangladesh, and the woman to whom I was speaking said, “I would never go there, it’s too dirty.”  (Many cities in that part of the world are notorious for sacred cows walking free through the streets, pickpockets and beggars,  trash and litter.)  When I showed a department-store clerk a 20-yuan note, (worth $3.05 U.S.) and told her I had just returned from Beijing, Southeast Asia, she said, “Oh, I would never want to go there! . . . But I’m not much of a traveler anyway.”  This same trip came up in a discussion with close friends, and they said, “We would never do something so risky.”

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

This book (Exotic destinations and More) represents years and years of traveling.  Nobody could accomplish what is represented here in just one or two years.  We try now to make two major trips each year — one in the spring and one in the fall.  Because we have now seen so much and so many places, we have decided (at least in part) to try to be more selective in the choices we make.  That is, we are now going to visit those places we have enjoyed and would like to either see again or see more of.  But, there will be more essays, no doubt about that — since I have a blog that like an appetite, needs fuel.  I have a mind, too, that needs fuel, and travel experiences are one type of fuel I truly seek and enjoy.  I hope you enjoy these experiences as much as I did — and as much as I liked writing about them, too.

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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Exploring Australia,'" reads as follows:

The thoughts about Australia prior to our visit there ranged widely from a country with a primitive road system to an advanced, modern, industrial society.  The reason for this wide range of thoughts (and emotions, too!) is simply that my family had no idea what to expect.  For me, it was a six-month sabbatical, and I had made contact at four educational institutions to teach or lecture.
 

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

I delivered several lectures at the University of Western Australia, and our visit to Perth ended our six months in Australia — an interesting, spectacular, and memorable visit.  We did everything we could do within our time limit and budget, and it is a place to which we would gladly return.


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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Review of the Speech, 'Sticky Ideas,'" reads as follows:

(There is an important caveat to this review of the speech, “Sticky Ideas.”  This is my own speech that I am reviewing.  (I have never done this before!)  I conceived the idea; I constructed the speech; I delivered the speech.  To be certain, I am biased.  This review was written on the day I saw the speech published in the book Public Speaking: An Audience-Centered Approach, 8e by Steven A. And Susan J. Beebe (Allyn & Bacon, 2012, pp. 410-414).  I had not read the speech for four years and, it was my re-reading of it after four years that prompted this review/essay.)

Ask yourself the question, after hearing (or reading) a speech, and knowing that you were impressed by it, what is the ingredient or element that contributed most to that impression?  In some cases, of course, it is how the speech was delivered.  Often, delivery dominates people’s impressions because, first, it is obvious, and, second, because we judge others on how they look and behave.

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

The language of the speech is colloquial with no special jargon, literary flourishes, or complexities.  It was delivered from a manuscript; however, I knew (and had practiced) the material thoroughly; thus, I delivered it without depending on the manuscript much at all, in an extemporaneous manner.  It took about 25-30 minutes to deliver the speech, and several questions from the audience of about 50, followed.

*This speech (“Sticky Ideas: Low-Tech Solutions to a High-Tech Problem,”) was originally published in Vital Speeches of the Day (1 August 2007): 73:8.

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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "There is So Much Pettiness in the World, " reads as follows:

As I looked at the political picture in the U.S. today, I thought of a quotation by Margaret J. Wheatley that so accurately captured the situation: “In our daily life,” she wrote, “we encounter people who are angry, deceitful, intent only on satisfying their own needs. There is so much anger, distrust, greed, and pettiness that we are losing our capacity to work well together.”  It's embarrassing to admit that we harbor pettiness in our lives, but the fact is that most of us do.

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

“Those who occupy their minds with small matters,” said Francois de La Rochefoucauld, “generally become incapable of greatness.”  Although I am not seeking greatness, nor will I ever, such a quote offers some sanity in this world of pettiness.  I don’t get involved with it, I don’t try to change others, and I don’t lower myself to their level.  If you see pettiness of any kind, do as I do, smile, understand it, appreciate it for the pettiness that it is, and go on with your life.  It was Winston Churchill who said, “Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense”



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "When I Cook Popcorn Over the Stove (Heart-Healthy Habits), " reads as follows:

It was an essay by Nanci Hellmich in the “Your Life” section of USA Today (March 15, 2011, pg. 3D), titled, “Doctor’s orders for himself: Even for a neurologist, adopting heart-healthy habits is a challenge,” that prompted this essay, and if the doctor’s [Ralph Sacco, president of the American Heart Association, a neurologist and chairman of the department of neurology at Miller School of Medicine at the University of Miami] habits contribute to anyone else’s change of behaviors, then this essay has made a significant contribution.  Hellmich’s essay, obviously, had a powerful influence on me.
   
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

This was Hellmich’s entire essay.  There was nothing more.  What was amazing to me, after I read her essay, was that I am currently doing (and have been doing for more than 30 years) all that I can do to prevent heart attacks and strokes — according to Sacco and what Hellmich has written.  Sure, there is no guarantee just as there are no guarantees in life, but it certainly adds to your security, self-confidence, and composure knowing that you have adopted and are following heart-healthy habits.




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraphs of Thursday's essay, "Nag, Nag, Nag --- A Humorous Essay, " read as follows:

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution.

His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.  As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about,

'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it . . . . And on and on and on . . .

[This joke continues for several more paragraphs.  Read the rest of it on Thursday.]

  
    
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraphs of the essay

[Obviously, the following is the end of a joke that begins earlier in the essay.  Read the beginning of this joke on Thursday.]

All  the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy man.   He
fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly  during the entire
return drive.
    
The more he chided her, the more agitated he became.  He just wouldn't let
up for a single minute.
    
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.  As  the woman got
out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old  geezer
yelled to her,"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."    




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraphs of Thursday's essay, "You Must be Joking!, " read as follows:

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"
    
The husband just looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like, Mr.Plumber?”
A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, "Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

"What do I look like, Mr.Goodwrench?" was his response.    

[This joke continues for several more paragraphs.  Read the rest of it on Thursday.]
  
    
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

[Obviously, the following is the end of a joke that begins earlier in the essay.  Read the beginning of this joke on Thursday.]

    
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into t heir magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
    
In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,"ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
 




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "The Adrenaline Rush, " reads as follows:

When the bus driver unloaded our bicycles in a parking lot at the very top of the mountain just outside Vale, Colorado, I could feel the rush.  I felt addicted to excitement, to the adrenaline rush, to the danger inevitably and invariably involved.   At that point, we were on our own, and although I was with a friend, we had no intention of going down the mountain together (we never discussed it).  The trail was narrow, steep, with numerous curves, other riders traveling in the same direction, and, for me, totally unpredictable.  The adrenaline rush of the ride was there for the taking, and I reached out, seized it, took hold of it, and rode it with all the speed my body could deliver.  It was a highlight of my life, and the memory is clear, vivid, and energizing to this day.  (Thank goodness I didn’t crash!)
    
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

There are, of course, many ways to get a similar adrenaline rush, but for me these have been some of the most impressive.  Hey, when you know how to get it, enjoy getting it, then who needs drugs or alcohol?  I’m not an addict, I have never been one, and I don’t intend to become one, but the adrenaline rush provides a great natural high that is truly fulfilling.   




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Seventh Anniversary (of writing essays for the blog), " reads as follows:

This is truly hard to believe — but I say this every year!  A seventh anniversary means the completion of about 364 essays and 364,000 words!  Had you asked me when I started whether I would reach this goal, the answer would have been an emphatic, “No way!”  I didn’t think it would be possible to make it for a single year, much less seven.
   
    
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

I am thrilled to have a blog.  I love writing essays, and I am pleased to be able to share my thoughts, ideas, and emotions with others.  If this wasn’t true, I would bring all of this to an end.  If you — my readers — have any ideas to add, or if there are topics you would enjoy seeing me write about, please contact me.  I always love hearing from my readers.   




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Standing on the Sidelines --- With Wisdom, " reads as follows:

It’s not quite the same as sitting in the gymnasium bleachers watching your grandson play basketball and seeing — before the children (3rd and 4th graders) — the appropriate moves, possible openings, or potential plays.  It requires little skill or wisdom to be a bleachers-sitter at a kids’ basketball game, true, but it was during one of the basketball games that it came to me: How wonderful — after a lifetime of education, knowledge, and experience — to stand (or sit!) on the sidelines with wisdom.
    
    
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

“Wisdom” does not guarantee that you won’t make errors or have failures; “wisdom” guarantees nothing!  But, what it does is provide the mettle — strength of character, moral fiber, determined resolve, and courageousness — that adds character, fortitude, and spirit to the personality.  It’s a little like the answer to the question, “Why do you do body-building exercises?”  The answer is clear: It adds tone to the body.  “Wisdom” adds tone to the personality, color to viewpoints, flavor to decision-making, and quality to life.  Wisdom is what makes standing on the sidelines so insightful, worthwhile — and entertaining!  And, most important, standing on the sidelines with wisdom is what makes a life.      




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "The Importance of Great Expectations, " reads as follows:

Throughout my life, I have always expected good things to happen.  It could be a result of my family, education, or many experiences, but I think it may be something else.  From a very early age — as far back as I can remember — I always did well in school.  For all the home work and preparation I did for my classes, I was continually rewarded positively.  This buoyed my confidence, of course, but also, it propelled me to continue in the same direction.  Positive results provide a template for continued similar performance.  
      
    
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Positive results provide a template for continued similar performance.”  I truly believe that success in school, for me, is what allowed or prompted, if you will, the production of (or adoption of the worldview)  great expectations.  And it is those great expectations that have, on a continuing basis, resulted in the great successes I have experienced.



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Ann Arbor, Michigan --- Where I Grew Up, " reads as follows:

I lived in Ann Arbor from 1952 through 1965 (sixth grade through my master’s degree from the University of Michigan (UofM)) — 13 years total.  I say this only to provide some perspective regarding this essay.  During that time my family moved twice.  We began our stay in a house at 701 Sunset Road high above the city (as high as you can go above a city in which there are no mountains, only minor hills) and ended our stay at 1476 Kirtland Drive (a Drive my parents named after Michigan’s Kirtland Warbler), in a house just blocks from what was then called Ann Arbor High School (Pioneer High School now).  All of my memories of Ann Arbor are positive, and that, too, colors the nature of this essay.
   
    
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

As you can see, I was an energetic youth.  You can also tell from just these descriptions, that I led an active life.  What made it particularly exciting was the variety.  I was never still, never bored, never unengaged.  For me, Ann Arbor holds wonderful, fulfilling, pleasant, and satisfying memories.   




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Grow Up!, " reads as follows:

When I gave my lecture on “How to become a writer” to fifth graders, I had a young fellow ask me after the lecture was over, “Were these the things you did to become a writer?”  Although I would have loved to say, “Yes, exactly!,” I had to be honest with him.  “No,” I said, “but I didn’t have someone come into my class in the fifth grade and tell me what I’ve told you today.  These are things that I learned and am now sharing with you.”
   
    
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

At the end of Chapter 6, “Get Out of Your Comfort Zones,” and as part of the conclusion to that chapter, I write what could be the theme or thesis of the entire book: “What many people fail to realize is that, indeed, they are in charge of their lives—qualified, capable, and able—and they have the key to their prison cells if they would just find it, put it into the lock, turn it, open the door, and allow themselves to be catapulted into new and uncharted territory” (p. 17).     Catapulted, I might add, into new and uncharted territory that could best be characterized by “growth.”  At least when someone tells you to “Grow up!, after reading You Rules, you will know how to do it.



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "When the time is right, " reads as follows:

It is during January and February when I experience some of my most productive time when it comes to writing.  I am able to “stock-up” on essays for my blog, write reviews of books for my blog, and compose speeches and other items, like no other time during the year.  For example, since January 14th, 2011, when I finished reading page proofs for the 10th edition of my textbook, Communicating Effectively (McGraw-Hill), I completed more than 30 essays and nearly 25 book reviews.
    

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

If I have the proper mindset, my attention is sufficiently focused, and I am filled with  passion, then I have happily discovered that with some relaxation and patience — perhaps even turning my attention to other things than the project at hand — I can accomplish what I need to do.  It is as if I am offering directions and guidance — albeit surreptitiously [acting with stealth] — to the behavioral centers of my physical being.  In the end (when the time is right), I am simply programming my self for productivity.
   




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first two paragraphs of Thursday's essay, "How Do You Know?, " read as follows:

Our life can be our insurance policy.  It doesn’t work for everyone; however, it can work for you if 1) you think about it, 2) prepare for it, and 3) use it.
   
We purchase life insurance, automobile insurance, and house insurance, and we spend a great deal of our money on these insurance policies.  Seldom, however, do we spend as much money on any other kind of insurance policy.  It is, perhaps, because these are obvious, they are what everybody does, and, as much as possible, they protect us from unexpected disasters, calamities, and accidents.  Word of mouth from others who have been protected from such situations by their insurance policies is often sufficient testimony to convince us of the need for it.
   

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

The idea of being able to face any aspect of your life or any new experience with all of your skills and abilities at their peak can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.  That is, if you know that your engine is tuned and fully fueled, you are ready to compete with any other vehicle in its class, and that information allows you to be confident, self-assured, and ready for action.  It is as if your success is pre-conditioned and that strength then energizes you to be the winner that you are.  That is when your life becomes your insurance policy, and the answer to the question, “How do you know?” is clear.  I know I can face any obstacle, any problem, any predicament, and arrive at the best solution possible — because I have all the skill and ability I need!





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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "An Amazing Coincidence --- Sister Camille's Experience, " reads as follows:

On Friday, February 11, 2011, I received a message on my answering machine.  The name was garbled; however, the phone number for contacting the party was clear, and I copied it down.  In going to my computer, my son had forwarded a message to me from our andthensomeworks.com web site which duplicated the answering-machine message.  The message was as follows:
   
    “Your father-in-law is a long time friend and mentor of mine.  Something has come to my attention that I would like to discuss with you.  I will be out much of today; however, I’d appreciate a phone number where I might contact you.”


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

We found an answer to this amazing coincidence that was simple and to the point: When a book is “donated” to the Maumee Public Library (part of the Lucas County Public Library system) it is given to .Friends of the Toledo-Lucas County Public Library. Friends of the Library (FOTL) is a nonprofit organization that encourages, promotes, and supports the ongoing operation of the Library, and “donated” books are sold (often at Amazon.com) to support FOTL operations.  Sister Camille purchased the book at Amazon.com, and it was supplied by FOTL.



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Coping Skills: How to Handle Life's Challenges, " reads as follows:

In a book by Ruth David Konigsberg, The Truth About Grief (Simon & Schuster, 2011) one of the ways Konigsberg focuses upon when it comes to successfully coping with grief, is having effective coping skills; however, the question quickly comes to mind, “What does that mean?” or “Do I have effective coping skills?” or “How can I develop the proper skills so I am prepared to face difficult (stressful, hurtful, or pressure-related) situations?” or  “How can I handle life’s challenges in the most effective way?”


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Answers to the questions raised in the first paragraph about developing coping skills such as, “What does that mean?” or “Do I have effective coping skills?” or “How can I develop the proper skills so I am prepared to face difficult (stressful, hurtful, or pressure-related) situations?”  “How can I handle life’s challenges in the most effective way?” should be clear now.  Much of what you can do must take place early — planning ahead.  The more skills you have in place and the more you have used before (so they are habitual or automatic), the easier it will be to handle life’s challenges.



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "When I die, " reads as follows:

I don’t think about death.  It has really never been on my mind.  However, I have had deaths thrust upon me in a variety of ways.  I had to identify my father’s body when he died with his boots on teaching a seminar at the University of Michigan while I was a student there.  My mother died in a nursing home in California.  My mother-in-law died in a Hospice facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  One of our close friends died of lung cancer at 45 years old, and he never smoked.  The main benefactor of the church I attend died, and I went to his funeral.  And, with a father-in-law who is 98 years old, death is likely to be thrust upon me once again.
   

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

My life is what it is, and that’s it.  I was thinking as I wrote this essay, what would I want written on my gravestone?  Then I thought, no, there will be no tombstone.  Remember: cheap!  On the post-it-note attached to the urn that holds my ashes — and there doesn’t even need to be an urn, for heaven’s sake! — it can say in small print: “He left this a better place.”  Without an urn, put the note on the lower left (not on the right!) of the bathroom mirror, or write it with your finger in the thin layer of dust on the mantle!



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Dealing with Death, " reads as follows:

This is an uncomfortable topic simply because it is seldom discussed, and, too, because it affects people in different ways at different times during their lives.  You may think you deal with it the same way each time it affects your life, but that is unlikely to be true.  Every response is different depending on their relationship to you.  There are so many variables involved: how close the person was to you, your own health, happiness, and security, and how many other tragedies or traumas you are having to deal with at the time.  That isn’t the end either.  How did the person die?  What are the circumstances surrounding the event?  Where is the funeral (and viewing) to be held?  Who will be (should be?) invited?  And many more questions, too.


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

I once heard an apt quotation on the television show Roseanne : “If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.”  Norman Cousins had a slightly different twist on a similar thought: “Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”  Do I think about death?  Seldom.  Do I want to die?  No.  I am indebted to the deep thinking, popular American philosopher, Doris Day (he says with tongue firmly planted in cheek!), who said, “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.”  But most of all, I love the quotation attributed to R. Geis, “I wouldn't mind dying,” he says, “it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.”






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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "It's Great Being an American, " reads as follows:

I have traveled around the world.  I have lived in East Pakistan (now Bangladesh), visited India, Kashmir, Nepal, the Phillippines, Japan and traveled throughout Southeast Asia, Europe, and the Carribbean.  One question that I have received is, “Having seen the world, where would you most like to live?”  The answer is Pavlovian (it requires no thought whatsoever): in the United States (US). 

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

It was Evan Thomas who sparked this essay, and I am indebted to him for electrifying my senses.  Too often, I’m afraid, we take all that we have available to us for granted.  If you, as a reader of this essay, has never traveled abroad and, thus, have no comparison regarding what we have available to us, you may not completely understand my passion.  On the other hand, you may not want to travel outside the US at all simply because you like what we have here! — you already have passion! We have a great country, and it’s great to be an American!   


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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Be Proactive and Succeed, " reads as follows:

Whenever I had the opportunity — like when I pulled on the wishbone of a turkey and made a wish or blew out the candles on my birthday cake and made a wish — I would use the opportunity to plan for some future success.  That is, I would make my wishes specific and even place a time frame on them — that is, when I would like the wish to be granted.  I don’t believe in making wishes nor do I ever expect that the wishes I make will come true.  Then why, you might ask, do I waste my time making them?
   

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Being proactive has not only assisted me in my professional life, but it has helped as well in decision making, problem solving, and dealing with most daily issues and routines.  To plan ahead has wonderful results in relieving stress, saving time, and getting more accomplished.  Being proactive is an essential skill for anyone who is effective or who wants to be successful.





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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Transitions, " reads as follows:

It’s been happening a lot lately.  Life transitions are being thrust before me, and I’ve heard that it gets worse as you get older.  There have been a number of deaths, some people have entered “care facilities,” and there has been a wedding (one of my two sons, and the last of my four children, got married).


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Life goes on.  Likewise, transitions go on, too.  What has been especially fun for me is that I have had the opportunity not just to observe all of this, but I have had the thrill of documenting and writing about it.  Probably the most important idea in the life transitioning that takes place is being flexible and adaptable, because often transitions cause change — if not physically, at least attitudinally.  They cannot be avoided; attitude shifts take place, and life goes on.  I think Gail Sheehy had it right.  Maybe the best thing we can do is just to Let Go!





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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Life's Second Choices, " reads as follows:

One of my jobs as a college academic adviser was to answer student questions, ease their transition from high school to college, and offer suggestions regarding course work.  Inevitably through my conversations, I would discover that they had come to this college instead of their first choice because of cost (most often), academic ineligibility (they didn’t have the grades), distance (the desired college was too far away), or parental guidance (their parents preferred this choice rather than their first choice).  How I addressed their concern about coming to a college that was not their first choice, offers some general parameters regarding how everyone must deal with life’s second choices.
    


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Life’s second choices may, at least at first, make a person despondent or sad; but such despondency or sadness should be short lived.  Why?  Life is short and offers us few “do-overs.”  Rather than waste the emotional energy that despondency or sadness require — or any energy devoted to negative emotions — they need to get up, brush themselves off, and begin on a course of action designed to take their best advantage of the hand that has been delivered them.  In that way they are not just making positive use of their time and energy, but they are capitalizing on where they are in life and helping themselves move forward toward greater success and opportunity.          




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Aesthetics --- A well ordered, well-organized, disciplined life, " reads as follows:

As I was sitting having breakfast before dawn one morning (on many mornings!), I enjoyed subdued lighting, gentle, comforting music, and a clean, neat relaxing dining room ambiance.  Suddenly, as I enjoyed this incredibly satisfying environment, I realized that it was aesthetics — characterized by an appreciation of beauty or good taste — that was engaging my senses and providing the balance that an ordered, well-organized, disciplined life can bring.



Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

I totally agree with this comment, however, I have also discovered that there is surprising beauty in everything with which we have contact.  It may need us to look more closely; it may need us to draw back to see the greater picture.  Once we have satisfied the lower-order needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy, the likelihood that we can see and appreciate the aesthetics in everything we encounter becomes more likely.  And when we get to that point, we get closer to achieving the balance that an ordered, well-organized, disciplined life can bring.             




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Aesthetics --- A well ordered, well-organized, disciplined life, " reads as follows:

As I was sitting having breakfast before dawn one morning (on many mornings!), I enjoyed subdued lighting, gentle, comforting music, and a clean, neat relaxing dining room ambiance.  Suddenly, as I enjoyed this incredibly satisfying environment, I realized that it was aesthetics — characterized by an appreciation of beauty or good taste — that was engaging my senses and providing the balance that an ordered, well-organized, disciplined life can bring.



Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

I totally agree with this comment, however, I have also discovered that there is surprising beauty in everything with which we have contact.  It may need us to look more closely; it may need us to draw back to see the greater picture.  Once we have satisfied the lower-order needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy, the likelihood that we can see and appreciate the aesthetics in everything we encounter becomes more likely.  And when we get to that point, we get closer to achieving the balance that an ordered, well-organized, disciplined life can bring.            




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Taking the long way home" reads as follows:

It was Dale Carnegie who said, “One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.”  I have always been a person who enjoyed his life, no matter what stage, no matter where, and no matter when.
            


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

So the simple question becomes, how do you take the long way home?  The answer lies, in part, in what Dale Carnegie said at the outset of this essay, “enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.”  It means taking longer, observing more, experiencing further, thinking deeper, and, in all cases, appreciating wholeheartedly.  It may even mean getting outside of ourselves and becoming immersed in the world around us.  Taking the long way home is pursuing life — and then some!



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Coincidence --- Keep your eye out for the levers and pullies" reads as follows:

“Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said: "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it."
([N.a.]. (05-02-07). Oddee, “20 Most Amazing Coincidences,” Retrieved January 26, 2011.).
           


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Robert Novella, cited above, concludes his essay in this way: “. . . the vast majority [of coincidences] that we experience turn out to be much more probable than they appear, if analyzed critically. When this is taken into account, along with our propensity for selective validation, our desire to believe in something akin to fate, and our coincidence-detection hardwiring, the true deceptive power of coincidence is realized.”  Emma Bull said, “Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys.”



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "The power lies within you" reads as follows:

The internal locus of control concept is so important and can have such a powerful influence on people’s lives, that I spent one entire lecture in my basic speech-communication class discussing it.  I would give students a “test” in lecture without them having a clue about what its subject or nature was, I would “grade” it for them orally (again, without them having any idea of what it was all about), I would ask for a show of hands only (and without the results of the “test” having been interpreted — in other words, only with their “test” numbers in hand) I would ask them how they performed, and, finally, with their results in front of them, I would interpret their results for them.  Never did they have to reveal their results once the interpretation of their results was provided.   
         


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

How much people believe they have control over their lives makes a significant difference now and for their future.  There are a number of sources online where tests can be taken to determine internal versus external belief systems.  The biggest discovery — and the point of this essay — is that it all depends on choice.  And moving from an external to an internal belief system can be accomplished.  Sure, it takes patience and perseverance, but what in life that is worth achieving does not require time and effort?




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "When I get up in the morning" reads as follows:

Often I can predict what kind of a day I’m going to have by the way I get up in the morning.  I’m not always accurate, but I use my “getting up” as an indicator.  When I showed one of my granddaughters my daily log, she asked me why I begin each day with the time I get up?  What she was really asking was, What difference does that make?  I explained that the time I get up each morning is just one of the indicators I use for what kind of a day I’m likely to have.  When my log indicates that I woke up just before the alarm clock, that is a signal to me that I’m likely to have a very productive day.  (Remember what I said above, “I’m not always accurate.”)
     


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

When I wake up in the morning, I am always grateful for the day I have ahead of me. I never (and have never) seen any day as a burden that I just have to “get through.”  I see each day as an opportunity to do something meaningful, beneficial, and satisfying.  What is important, especially for the purposes of this essay, is that what I do during the day has a direct and immediate effect on what happens every night and what it will be like when I get up in the morning.  I love the quotation attributed to J.M. Powers, “If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.”       




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Why I wouldn't want to live on a Caribbean island" reads as follows:

When we went to “Super J’s” grocery store for milk on Friday — they received no shipment on Monday and said their next one was due on Friday — they were already out, if they received a shipment at all.  We had to purchase half-gallons of Lactose-free milk at $15.99 EC$ (more than $5.00 U.S. ) each, but we were totally dependent on island deliveries, and for most of the week (all except the first 2-3 days), we could not have our regular skim milk.
    


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

I love traveling, and I love sampling other lives and lifestyles.  I am a people-watcher, and while waiting for our ride in St. Lucia, at a number of different places, I watched how local people dressed and acted.  When we traveled I observed how those in other cultures lived.  This is a treat, to be sure.  And, in many cases, I have observed that the lives of many in other cultures are simple and less complex than many in the United States.  By contrast, I prefer our modern conveniences, technical “necessities,” and the complications and complexity we have.  When it comes right down to it, I wouldn’t trade my life or lifestyle for any other in the world!
       




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Planning to go to St. Lucia?" reads as follows:


There are several things I learned from a week in St. Lucia that may help others who are planning to go.  It is a popular Caribbean destination, and St. Lucians are trying to make it known as a romantic getaway and the destination for honeymooners.  In this essay I will address the kind of dress that is appropriate, the situation regarding food, and transportation.
       


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Dress, food, and transportation are some of the factors that need to be considered if you are planning to go to St. Lucia.  We went to accompany our older daughter and her 3 kids, and it was a great choice (very expensive to get there, to rent a house, and to buy food), but we saw the island, experienced the culture, enjoyed the cuisine, swam in the water, and would want to experience another place for another time.    




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "St. Lucia: Some Observations," reads as follows:

For an island just 27 miFles long and only 14 miles wide (238 sq. miles), it hosts a number of extremes.  The first and most obvious (easily observable) is the geography.  The terrain is described as volcanic and mountainous with some broad  fertile valleys.  It is more mountainous than many other Caribbean islands (except, perhaps, St. Vincent) with its highest point being Mount Gimie (pronounced “Jimmy”) at 3,120 feet above sea level.  There are 90-inches of rain each year with temperatures averaging 70-90-degrees Fahrenheit, and the island hosts 2 separate rain forests that, together, cover 19,000 acres.
    


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

We have enjoyed St. Lucia because of its history, geography, climate, local food, culture, and overall ambiance.  It is one of the most outstanding of the Caribbean islands because everyone speaks English (the locals chat with each other in Patois, which is a blend of African-Caribbean language, heavily laden with French), they cater to tourists, it has irrefutable beauty, and it is easy to get around.  It has been a fun, relaxing, pleasant week — despite the heat and humidity.  That said, it is unlikely we would ever need or want to come back.  We have seen in St. Lucia all we need or want to see; we prefer going to places we have never been before, and that is why we came to St. Lucia in the first place.  There are so many elements that harmonize to make St. Lucia a true destination in the Caribbean especially for those who have never been to a Caribbean island.
    




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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "St. Lucia: What We Did," reads as follows:

Our older daughter made the arrangements, and we rented a 3-story, 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house that looked out to Rodney Bay from the side of a “mountain” (large hill), along with many other beautiful, modern, well-landscaped homes, most of them (but not ours) gated.  The house is fully furnished with all pots and pans, dishes, towels, and air conditioners in 3 of the 4 bedrooms (electricity is expensive), but no air conditioning in the main parts of the spacious house.  As I write this essay, we have 3 of the full-length sliding glass doors (only 2 with screens), wide open and the front door (no screen) open for cross ventilation.
    


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraphs of the essay

On our way home we traveled the “roller coaster” road down into Castries by the governor’s mansion.  We stopped briefly to have a wonderful view of the entire town and port area.  One of the docked cruise ships was getting ready to leave, and by the time we were in the port area itself, it was nowhere in sight.
    
We arrived back in Rodney Bay around 6:00 p.m. after a very long day.  I have saved my observations about the island and island culture for my second St. Lucian essay: “St. Lucia: Some observations.”


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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first two paragraphs of Thursday's essay, "What I'm Doing to Prevent Alzheimer's," read as follows:

This essay is not designed to be self-serving, egotistical, or self-absorbed, but if you read it that way, that’s okay.  More than anything, if you take away from this essay some things you can do to help ward off or prevent Alzheimer’s disease, then it has served its purpose.
    
Let me set the stage for what you’re about to read.  I am reading the book, 100 Simple Things You Can Do to Prevent Alzheimer’s: And Age-Related Memory Loss (Little, Brown, 2010).  In this excellent, well-researched book by medical journalist Jean Carper, she spends about one or two pages on each of the 100 items, so reading the book moves very fast.
    


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraphs of the essay

I know this is a lot, but you get an idea of 1) what this wonderful book is all about, 2) what you can do to help prevent Alzheimer’s, and 3) how simple, straightforward, and practical Carper’s book is.  What writing this essay did for me was underscore my lifestyle, reinforce my wellness, and fortify the choices I have made thus far.  Although I could still get Alzheimer’s, I think my chances are less just because of all of the above.
   



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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Resolving Conflicts," reads as follows:

It came as a surprise, but once I digested the request, it was understandable.  Several of the reviewer-critic-users of the ninth edition of my textbook, Communicating Effectively (McGraw-Hill, 2009) said that their students wanted more on resolving conflicts in the next edition.  I thought about the request and how best to respond to it.
   


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraphs of the essay


If you have, or can adopt or assume, the following personality traits, you are best equipped to handle conflict situations.  Revealing maturity and wisdom rank first.  Consideration of and an ability to empathize with others rank second.  The third characteristic, but no less important than the first two, is the ability to remain open-minded, objective, tolerant, and flexible.  In addition to these important traits, your ability to see things in shades of gray rather than in black-and-white, a positive attitude toward conflict and its benefits, and the ability to offer options, alternatives, and choices.


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Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Drinking Jokes," reads as follows:

*A man is sitting in a bar drinking a beer when a young lady walks up and says "So what are you drinking?" The man replies casually "Magic beer" and the lady asks "What kind of magic beer?" "What's so special about it?!?" says the man. He proceeds to get up and flies around the room 3 times and sits back down. The lady snaps "I bet you couldn't do that again even if your life depended on it!" So he gets up and flies around the room 3 more times. The lady says "I'll have what he's having!" She chugs it down and goes to the roof and jumps - falling to her death. The bartender looks at the man sitting at the bar and says "Superman, you're a jerk when your drunk."
   


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraphs of the essay

*Pat and Mike had been drinking buddies and friends for years.
   
After having a few drinks in a bar, Mike said to Pat -
   
"We have been friends for years and years and if I should die before you do would you do me a favor? Get the best bottle of Irish whiskey you can find and pour it over my grave."
   
Pat replied, "I would be glad to do that for you my old friend.  But would you mind if I passed it through my bladder first?"



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